The Pointless Tokyo MewMew Story
by Sabre Dance
Summary: read at your own risk, peoples. It's scary. Very, very scary.
1. Chapter 1

Empty-eyes: BEWAR3!!THIS IS A COLLABORATION FANFIC BY TWO CRAZY PEOPLE. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Dee:Ummmmz..the keyboard iz messed up so sorry for mistakes. Stupid sidebar…

Empty-eyes: We made this specifically for people who wanted to blow off some steam, so if at the end you aren't too busy laughing, feel free to flame. The more flames (and reviews), the more chapters!

Dee: I'll say the disclaimer: Empty-eyed Dreamer and her friend Dee do not own Tokyo Mew-Mew, the Jo'bros, Linkin Park, or anything else in this fanfic.

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Ichigo jumped onto a purple kangaroo and danced with potato salad. Suddenly, an annoying screech came out from nowhere. Who was it? Arkn, Mark's evil twin. "Oh noes! Iz Arkn! He may try to hook me up with Mark!!...wait…..isn't his name Masaya? Oh wellz!" Ichigo ran to the nearest bar and ordered a martini with a cute little umbrella. "Wherz that strawberry-whutevarhernameis-?" Arkn's loud belch echoed throughout the bar. He stumbled over to the jukebox and started to beat it in blind druken rage. "RAWR!! I be hatin the Jon-ass brothers!!" Ichigo heard what Arkn said. "That's not the jo-bros, stupit!! That be Linkin Park! They sound nothing alike!". She proceeded to throw pointy things at him. Suddenly Mark jumped into the bar wearing a sombrero screaming "You guys r killin da environment!" But then he collapsed due to the broken glass jabbed into his head from jumping through the window. "WOoT!" screamed Ichigo, pumping her fist into the air. "I'm FREEEEEE!!!"

She started to stomp on Marks almost-dead body. Randomly, Keiichiro appeared with tiny, grenade-shaped shot glasses. "To the defeat of the Evil McRawrsons army!". "Yeah!" said Ichigo, who was apparently doing the runningman. "Whuz aboot meeeezzz?????" Arkn (who also now had glass jabbed into several parts of his body) whinned like a little Chihuahua. "Ohhhhhz…ummmmz…" "You can be our mascot"! Keiichiro finished Ichigo's sentence with a creepily uppity tone. " I'm afraid I can't allow that ." Masha appeared. Except he was really mucscley and was probably a mercenary. He took out the "mew-mew ultra-anihlator explosive killing kiss" gun and blew up everyone who wasn't cool. Then randomly the uncool Kish appeared.

"Heys guyz, whuz up? I brought Twister…" Kish said only to be blasted with the mew anihator that actually just contained hot sauce. "No, go away. This is a free-form jazz dance party only." said Ichigo. "How convenient!" Kish started to dance un-kooly. "Fo shame! You are a crappy dancer! No cookies for you!" everyone started to beat him with sponges. "YEEKK!!" he warped away with a flurry of pancakes. "YAY! Pancakes!!!" screamed Ichigo. "Pfft. Pancakes are no food for one such as I. Crepes are what real men eat." Masha laughed. " And I enjoy in partaking in a feast of brains!" Keiichiro stated with more creepiness than ever. "Ewwww, bookworm." Mint said with the other three mews in tow. (except Berry cuz she "mysteriously" fell off a balcony with spikes below.) Just as this was narrated, Ryou shifted his eyes to both sides. Oh, btw Ryou just arrived wearing a tuxedo and feeling over-dressed. "Ryou, you look like you're feeling over-dressed." Meowed Ichigo. "How about you shut up?" Ryou groweled. "Kiss me you fool!" "Okai."

And Ichigo and Ryou ran into the sunset, where they were burned almost to being dead because that happens when you run into the sun. "Tch. I was more rich and popular then them anyways." Mint said as they were both taken away to the hospital. " Ima back you fools with more mew mew vengeance than evar!!!!" A long-haired-and obviously very angry- mew named Berry stormed into the party. "Oh crap." Ryou managed to get out through his injured lips. "I SEE YOU!!!!" Berry yelled a blood-chilling scream at Ryou and Ichigo as they were being carried off into an ambulance withy a smiley face on it. Just As the ambulance started to drive away, Berry clinged onto it from the back handle. On the inside of the ambulance, Ichigo was staring out the window thinking something along the lines of"Omgz, I think my feet are still on fire and tacos are awesum" when suddenly a bloody hand wiped across the window.

"OMFGZ RYOU!! There be something out there!" Ichigo whimpered. "Don't be stupid, stupid. Theres nothing out there." Said nurse Pie. "Now why don't you relax while I stick pointy things into you.". Meanwhile, Berry was ripping away parts of the ambulance with her teeth (drink milk, kids!). Just as she was just bout done ripping most of the ambulance into shreds, a giant eagle swooped down with a axe in its talons. "SWARRRKKAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" *Mixture of eagles swarks and a random pedestrian's cries.* That was a close one! Berry thought to herself in a deep man's voice. Just then a dark figure loomed above Berry from the sky. It was…another giant eagle!? *Swoop* the eagle picked up nurse Pie and probably went to go feed him to her babies. Then, from the wreckage of the ambulance came……..DOOMCHIGO, the morphed form of Ichigo that appears only when there are ambulances, metal-eating teenagers, and axe-wielding eagles in the vicinity.

"ROAARRGGG-ith!" The ferocious sounds of doomchigo resounded into the distance and into the ears of……..omg the blue knight!? "I'm here to save Ichigo…" He stated until he gaze rested upon doomchigo. "Ewwwwiez! When did she get so fat?" And with that, he left in a flurry of sparkles and fairy dust cuz that's totally what he would do. "Who was that?" Lettuce said with a light blush forming on her cheeks. And then the blush grew into a fatal case of scarlette fever. "Wellp, Lettuce is pretty dead." Stated Keichiro cheerfully. "I don't suppose anyone is going to want to eat her brains..mm-hm-hm-hm?" When no one responded he…umm..ate her…..brains……..and then also died from scarlette fever. Everyone was silent. "Sooo….now what, na-no-da?" asked Pudding.

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Empty-eyes: Well that was WEIRD.

Dee: Yep. We probably shouldn't have let ourselves be influenced by those commercials………….

Empty-eyes:…ummm…review (or flame) lest we have to sick the axe-wielding eagles on you *___*

Dee: ^__^;


	2. Canibalism and Salami trucks

Empty-eyes: Chappy 2!...z…

Dee: Empty-eyed-dreamer does not own tmm or anything else mentioned in here. 'cause if she and I did, this fanfic would be reality.

Empty-eyes: What a deliciously scary thought.

Dee: o_e 'mkay anyways……

Everyone was on the race tracks, preparing to drive their delicious salami lawn-mowers at full speed. It was team Rychigo (Ryou, Ichigo, and the potato salad from chappy one) versus team Keichiro (who was mysteriously resurrected by dongle goblins from Guam), which was made out of Keichiro and also Lettuces brains. And…OMHGZ! A late entry! It was team Killevry1causewearepissed featuring Berry and Tasuku! Berry, who was pissed at giant eagles and being mysteriously thrown off a balcony (Again, see chapter one) and Tasuku, who was pissed at not being in chapter one, were fuelled on pure…um…piss.

"Boys! Start ur engines!" The referee Arkn who knew nothing about racing, let alone salami lawn-mowers, shouted loudly with enthusiasm.

All the girls and Lettuce's brains perked up at this statement. "Hey! Rude much!" they yelled in unison. (cept Lettuces brains just kinda made a blrbbing noise…) "Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhez sorrreeeeeeey!" Arkn whined "You all look like guys anywayz…."he paused to take a bite out of the baby seal he held in his arms. "Specailly you and your man thought voice Berry (once again, see chappy one)".

"Yeah, we are pretty manly, aren't weez?" Said all the girls, who were showing off their rippling muscels. Keichiro perked up because he was hungry and apparently man muscels on young girls is very very tasty to crazy cannibal ppl. "Ewwwww, Keichiro, stop eating Mints triceps!" screamed Ichigo. "MOAAAARR!!!" yelled Keichiro who was foaming out of the mouth. But then he gotted run over by an ice cream truck. The weird thing is though, instead of the usual tune of an ice cream truck's music, it was playing F.C.P.R.E.M.I.X. and other songs featured in Guitar Hero. Just then, the vehicle's driver(Who was actually Masaya or Mark…whatevr..) belly danced out of the truck while balancing a ball on his nose. The action might remind one of a seal. It reminded Arkn of one. "You guys are killing da environment…" Mark started but was however cut off by Arkn pouncing at his arm. "Owwwwwiez!!!11 Da environment is more Important than my health!!!!!1" Mark the treehugger screeched while falling to the ground. And then he threw up his liver. "Please…take mah will…..and fulfill my final request……" he rasped with his final breath. Zakuro, who was busy being kool somewhere else up until a few seconds ago, took Masayas will from his cold dead hands as Keichiro jumped on the corpse and began to rip it too shreds with his tongue (cause his tongue is actually a sake bottle). "It says: Plz ppl, plant a tree with my ashes. Or use them to kill the aauthors of this fanfic before it gets too out of hand (AN: too late buddy)." Everyone stared at the willlllizzle and then all said "Fag."

Suddenly, a blood-stained Keichiro who had eaten half of his delicious garden appliance was taken away on a stretcher because of salmonella in the salami. And then Berry and Tasuku were captured by axe-wielding eagles. So team Rychigo moves up to the second round, where they would be facing team Fag, which was Masaya who was now a tree because someone had decided to complete his last request apparently, and probably one of Ichigos loser friends that no one cares about. The Loser friend of Ichigo lifted her chin in a defiant manner and started to trash-talk the other teams. "Yo momma's so fat she…….OMGHSZXDDAMETEORITE!!!!!!!!" As if on cue, a giant meteorite indeed appeared, and was shooting towards the racers at top speed, which was as fast as a gramma with a shopping cart on bargain Tuesday. Basically, it was going fast. "OMGAWDZSHOTTINGATUSWEREGONNADIEANDIHAVEFEELINGSFOROMGRYOUSCREWMASAYAMARKWHATEVR!!!!!!!!" Ichigo continued to screech like this for a while till Pudding showed up. "Guess what?! I found a penny!" She stated proudly. Berry, who was standing dumbfounded with all the other racers spoke up. "SHUT UP! DON'T YOU CARE WERE GONNA DIE!?" She then joined Ichigo who was seated in the corner and proceded to yell things that should be written on her will.

Even more randomly, Ryou was rolling around on the ground screaming "OWW!! Pink eye hurts……but it tastes soo….good!!!RRAAWGf". "Feliv Nazida, jerks!" screeched Berry, who was experiencing about-to-be-dead crazys. "If I'm going down, then the rest of you are coming with me!" Berry the maniac tied everyone up except Ryou who was still on the ground whining about pink eye. "Euugh! Stop being so movy-aroundy Ryou! I need to add you to my collection of people I just tied up in mah fit of insanity!" But then the meteorite landed in tree-Masayas branches with a big "och". "Omgz, that meteorite is tiny! And Scottish apparently!" crowed Mint. The meteorite jumped down from Masayas flaming branches and started yelling at them in stereotypical Scottish. "Och! YU'ALL CUN GIT UR ARSES INTO THE LOCH YU BLOODY AMERCUNS! CALLIN ME A MEATYORITE? THAZ LAK CALLIN AN ENGLSH MAHN FRNCH!" .Everyone just stared blankly as they absorbed the information that meteorites talk and are apparently Scottish.(cept for Ryou who was still writhing on the ground in pain) "Bah, yur all scallywags anyways." Said the now Scottish pirate meteorite who um…left magically. "So what now"? The usually quiet Zakuro spoke up due to the strange circumstances. "Let's dance!" Kish (who just randomly got there) yelled. "W0ot!" Everyone said pumping a fist in the air and began to dance. However, no one noticed the Mark tree (AN: couldn't think of anything else to call it XD) flipped on its side with a small flame still blazing in the branches.

Empty-eyes: O__O

Dee: O___O

Empty-eyes: Did we seriously just write this?

Dee: Yes, we did……W0ot.

Empty-eyes: indeed.

Dee: Flames or reviews are welcome cause we're that awesome.

Empty-eyes: Btw ppl, the flaming thing DOES NOT apply to any of my other stories. If you flame any of my other stories, I will use the fire extinguisher.

Dee: Oh, to "put out" the flames?

Empty-eyes: I was thinking "Beat them to a bloody pulp with fire extinguisher" but that works too.

Dee: O__e


	3. most amazing chapter evar

Berry sighed and shoved the last handful of turnip flavoured skittles in to her mouth. "You BITCH!!" screamed Ryou, who proceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetacotacotacotacotacotacotacoburritotacotacotacotacoa=taocquesedillatacotacotacotacotacotacotacotaco. My earrsssssss!!!!!

Yah.

La fin (of the world)

Not really.

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Dee: What-the hell?

Empty-eyes: Iz a random interlude, of course.

Dee:'Mmmmmkay….sorry peoples but we felt random so we had to post this. Also the skittle part actually happened. 'cept there was no turnip flavoured skittles or mews for that matter.

Empty-eyes: Yeah…..those were some fine skittles…..yummeh in mah tummeh……..

Dee: *chokes Empty-eyes to death by ramming empty skittle pack down her throat* I WANTED THE LAST FRIGGN HANDFULL OF SKITTLES!!!!!RAWRG!!!!!!!

Empty-eyes: *choking noises* My final wish is for Ryou…to…say..the……dis…claimer….

Ryou: No.

Empty-eyes: Then….i have died…in…vain…….*dies*

Dee:WE DON'T OWN THE FRIGGN EVERYTHING 'MMMMKAY!!!!???*chokes on saliva* *dies*


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